Silent Killer

 3 days before her birthday

She indicates to accept you the way you are. What could I possibly say. What can you say when your crush love of your life says so? Yes, I said the same. “I love you” and to my wildest dreams she said “I love you too”. My heart just missed the beat. lub-dub became Dhak Dhak! What’s worse is that everybody in my circle knows except for her. Two days later, on her birthday, I was awake to call her up. But thinking she would be busy with her friends and answering calls, I waited. Meanwhile, I texted her the link to the video I made for her. At exactly 12:12 AM, I called her. Busy It said. I redialed to hear the same. Finally, the thrilling voice came, the voice which could easily silent all my inner storms. I was finally speaking to her! On her birthday! “Yay” was all my soul could do. I made her collages and updated my social media into the shades of her. My sleepless night finally opened to a clear day. One of my friends, who is the clear witness of my inner storm called me up to tell me that he was with her and so I could step out to meet and wish in person. I never dressed up as quick as I was at that instance. Trust me! And the I saw her, my love, waiting there for me. I rushed towards her wishing her all the good stuff yet again, which I had wished for her already deep down my heart. She hugged me saying, “Thank you for everything”, but all I saw was a person beside her bloating my inner peace. Yes, I was friend zoned!
It hurt me so bad…the day I was going to tell her how I felt for her was the day I realized this, that she was already seeing someone else. Some people smoke, others drink and others fall in love. Each dies in a different way. Mine had just started to approach. In the evening I opened her the gateway to my heart through a letter, a letter I took 3 days to compile. Fair enough for long thought proposal? Well I think so. She peeped into the brown bag which I had filled with chocolates and the letter. And she said,” I’ll be waiting”, something that can’t be explained. My friend and I were with her and her supposed boyfriend the whole evening, waiting without her knowledge for our other friends to prepare for her birthday bash. Minute by minute as the time passed by, I was re-realizing how much I LOVE HER!

Final stage – Her birthday venue

Many people had gathered at the cafeteria (where my friends had already made arrangements for her) to greet and sing her the happy birthday song in unison. I was once again the man in the crowd. As it all began, her “special” friend was the first to grab a bite and as I looked I could see my friends eyeing towards me with the look of sympathy and non-verbally saying “hold up”. I was the absolute witness of my ache. It felt someone had unloaded a truck onto my chest and I looked through people with my fake smile. All I could do to hold up myself was taking care of her favorite balloons and her chocolates. Later the same night while taking a leave, we hugged again as she whispered thank you into my ears. And the day ended.

“371 days later and I still love you just as much as I did in last March! I wish I had the courage to tell her how I feel being with her. But somewhere between Ross and Rachel, Ted and Robin, we all end up believing in destiny. You just can’t spend the best years of your life waiting for somebody to love you back. You have to learn to move on. Because one day you’ll not be able to all adventures and stuff you desire to do if you let your boat sink in the shallow waters. Buckle up and move on”

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